#SOBLESSED: Social Netwerking Etiquette

An unedited excerpt from the chapter entitled, “Social Netwerking Etiquette” from #SOBLESSED: The Annoying Actor Friend’s Guide to Werking in Show Business

I am #grateful to have so many Facebook friends werking in show business. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that 96% of my online social circle consists of actors, musicians, writers, etc. The other 4% belong to stage door creepers and my mom, but they are obviously all on “limited profile.” It recently came to my attention that surrounding myself with such a niche group of people might be providing me with a rather tunnel-vision view of what it is like to function as an adult in society.

I used to have a lot of high school friends who grew up to be things like doctors, lawyers, and business executives, but the moment one of them changed their last name or Instagrammed a baby, I was like, “Stop making me feel old!” #unfriend. So, I guess I don’t really know a lot about people who went to college to receive a BS FBO (Bachelor of Something to Fall Back On) or how they behave on social media. How cool would it be if non-theatrical folk were just like us?

DOCTORS:

Removing a brain tumor this afternoon. Positive vibes at 4pm!!!

Remember that time I saved two kids’ lives in one workday? #SoBlessedToBeABlessing

Oh, you know… Just took the saphenous vein from the leg and attached it around the blockage in my patient’s coronary artery to provide perfusion to the heart muscle. #NoBigDeal 

LAWYERS

Just got my client off death row. The Secret really does work!

Big news regarding a case! Wish I could share!

First day of school representing a double homicide! #werk

BUSINESS EXECUTIVES 

Only been with the firm six months and already two promotions! #MakingItHappen

All of my investment strategies achieved a positive return this month. When it rains, it pours! #HedgeFundRealness

Gym, eight-hour workday, grocery shopping, home cooked dinner! #2013isNAILINGIT

Alas, this is not really the case. Instead, we have to hear them gush about their loving families, jobs that pay more than $1,754 a week, and something about having Saturdays off. That kind of passive aggressive bragging is exactly why it is important to occasionally make a few cuts and callbacks within your social media circle. However, before you #unfriend someone, I suggest you leave the following citation on their wall:

Internet Violation AA 1

Leave a Reply