Donald Trump is the Laziest Parody Account on Twitter

Donald-Trump

I’d like to think I know a thing or two about parody Twitter accounts. I have roughly four failed accounts and one that is successful, so I know what works and what doesn’t–with years of experience to back up my findings. That is why I can proudly say, without a doubt, that Donald Trump is the LAZIEST effing parody account Twitter has ever seen.

I mean, I saw Adele Dazim Twitter accounts that tried harder than Donald Trump. He’s the only person I’ve seen on Twitter whose parody accounts of himself do a better job at being him than he does. He has absolutely know idea how to grasp the power of nuance, and while that may have been the lacking quality that got him elected, it is simply not sustainable when playing the long game.

The most important thing to keep in mind when developing a parody Twitter account, is to constantly find a way to reinvent it before it gets stale and people start to unfollow you. Donald Trump has zero desire to build or grow his parody account as is evident if you analyze his social media presence since the inauguration. Let’s begin with one of his more recent tweets:

Seriously, man, this is some lazy ass garbage tweet if I ever saw one!

Let’s humor him for a minute, and assume his statement regarding CNN, ABC, and NBC is correct. Let’s also assume that his supporters believe it as fact. Then, the only opinions he needs to sway are that of liberals, democrats, snowflakes, and late night television. If you’re trying to get people to listen to you, there must be some element of subtlety and presence of literal facts. Don’t just scream at me, Mr. President. Manipulate me into wanting to look into seeing things from your point of view. You’re not winning any fans that you already don’t have. You got those fans during the campaign. You’re going to have to do more now. What did I say earlier about parody account longevity? IT NEEDS CONSTANT REINVENTION. Tweet of God became a Broadway play. Miranda Sings became a television show. If you continue to throw the same mundane nonsense into the ether, even your most devoted followers will get bored. It’s the reason I no longer make as many jokes about Cats. This social media behavior from out President is both #lazy and also #sad.

OMG seriously WTF is this nonsense!? Did you have this tweet saved in your draft folder from August and just decided to hit SEND on a random Saturday morning two weeks into your term? So lazy, man! We’ve heard it before and GET IT. You’re like those people who button ironic questions about themselves with “asking for a friend.” SO LAZY.

HOLY STINKBALLS, you are well over four years into your parody account and you still haven’t figured out a consistent sentence structure? I mean, you’ve got random spaces in between punctuation marks, and then a period after an ampersand–the entire thing is just a mess! If your brand is to be loose and casual, or to sound like an alien who doesn’t understand human language, @jonnysun already does that better. Parody accounts are only successful when they are UNIQUE, and you sir, are just poorly navigating well-trodden territory. You have to try harder, man, or people are going to unfollow you!

I could abrasively blabber on, but then I’d risk being as bad at getting my point across as our nation’s president. I only ask that if you are considering creating a parody Twitter account, learn from those who have done it right, and pray that President Trump starts to try a little bit harder and be a little more calculated online as soon as possible.

#covfefe

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