It’s the middle of Tonys season, do you know where Audra McDonald is?
Last year, Ms. McDonald made Tony history with her sixth win for Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill. That’s great and all, but WHY STOP THERE. I admire and respect all the nominated actors and productions this year, the season could have used a little Audra, and here are a few examples of where she would have landed herself six more Tonys…
1.) The Title Role in The Audience: While I’m sure she was transcendent in all the productions she saw this season, Audra would definitely win the Tony for watching Helen Mirren — because I’d watch that.
2.) The Dog in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time: I didn’t get papered into this play, so I haven’t seen it. However, I am certain there is a dog in it and I’m curious what Audra could have done with the part. We haven’t seen her take home the Tony for playing a literal animal yet, and this would have been a great opportunity for her to show us some real acting “chops” because dogs, specifically, like chops of meat.
3.) Tyrone in Hand to God: Steve Boyer is performing in eight shows a week, playing two different roles. By laws of science, he’s technically doing sixteen performances in the same amount of time it takes Alex Sharp to do six. Maybe some of the pressure could have been taken off of Mr. Boyer by casting Audra in the role of Tyrone. We haven’t seen her take home the Tony for playing a literal puppet yet, and Best Featured Actor in a Play is one of the only categories she hasn’t won. I think.
4.) The Delivery Woman in Fun Home: This role isn’t even in the show. They only reference her through song. I just think Audra and Jeanine Tesori should work together.
5.) Anne Hathaway in Something Rotten!: Few people remember that before The Princess Diaries, Anne Hathaway was simply the name of William Shakespeare’s wife. Not a word is spoken about Anne Hathaway in Something Rotten! and my only guess as to why not, is because Audra was unavailable. Can’t you just picture her belting out a hauntingly tragic and soaring act two ballad where she struggles with whether or not to stay with Shakespeare because he’s a major douche? Ugh. Just give her the Tony now.
6.) Harvey Weinstein in Finding Neverland: If Audra were playing Harvey Weinstein this entire time, things would have been much different.